


Then Again, Maybe I Won't

by luvscharlie



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Community: hpvalensmut, F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-12
Updated: 2013-10-12
Packaged: 2017-12-29 05:30:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1001588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luvscharlie/pseuds/luvscharlie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lily and Rose have decided that there are some things men simply do not understand.  The location of a clit (and what to do with it when found) being pretty high on that list.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Then Again, Maybe I Won't

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lunalovepotter](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=lunalovepotter).



> The All Hail Queen Judy comes from a particular Big Bang Theory episode I was watching with the "All Hail Sam Cass" that the boys sort of do spontaneously together during episode 5:17

**Title:** Then Again, Maybe I Won't  
 **Author:** [](http://luvscharlie.livejournal.com/profile)[**luvscharlie**](http://luvscharlie.livejournal.com/)  
 **Recipient:** [](http://lunalovepotter.livejournal.com/profile)[**lunalovepotter**](http://lunalovepotter.livejournal.com/)  
 **Pairings:** Lily Luna/Rose; (Background: Rose/Teddy, Lily/Men in copious amounts, and talked about Charlie/Viktor)  
 **Word Count:** 5826  
 **Rating:** NC-17  
 **Summary:** Lily and Rose have decided that there are some things men simply do not understand. The location of a clit (and what to do with it when found) being pretty high on that list.  
 **Warnings:** Cousincest (obviously), alcohol use, things which will probably traumatise your childhood memories (I'm sorry! I swear it wasn't intentional. One minute I'm typing about sex and then there was Sesame Street and I don't even know what the fuck happened from there.)  
 **A/N:** Written for [](http://lunalovepotter.livejournal.com/profile)[**lunalovepotter**](http://lunalovepotter.livejournal.com/) at the 2012 [](http://hpvalensmut.livejournal.com/profile)[**hpvalensmut**](http://hpvalensmut.livejournal.com/) exchange. The title comes of course from that coming of age novel that we all grew up reading (my first encounter with what a hard on was in this book!—oh nostalgia!) from Judy Blume, and there's an additional Blume-related author's note at the end. I swear, I still have no idea how this fic got from Point A to Point C. I was headed to B, and then there were traumatised muppets… It just makes no sense.

"Gods, yes. Oh, right there, Teddy." Rose dug her fingers into the duvet and clenched her thighs around Teddy's waist, crossing her ankles behind him and keeping him full inside of her. He never stayed long enough. There was always so much movement with him, and sometimes she just wanted to feel—feel all of him, hold him to her. His scratchy, stubbled chin was a harsh contrast on the sensitive skin of her nipple, as his tongue laved her breast. Rose arched her back and dug her fingers into Teddy's thick, turquoise hair. Sometimes she wished he'd pull her hair. Play rough. She wished sometimes he could read her mind and know what she wanted.

Teddy thrust hard into her and pressed the pad of his thumb against her clit. Well, close to her clit. He never did quite find the right spot. Really, how hard was that? She'd managed it as early as thirteen; you'd think a grown man would be able to locate it.

She loved Teddy, she did. And if she allowed herself to let her mind go elsewhere, she could reach her orgasm easily enough. It was fast approaching, Rose arched her back and thought of Teddy's sweetness, the kind things he did for her, the sexy way the patch of hair ran from navel to –

_KABAM!_

Rose's bedroom door flew open and thudded against the wall behind it with a sharp bang.

"What the—?" Teddy started and sort of jumped away.

Lily, Rose's cousin and flat mate, paid no attention to Teddy's startled outburst. She stormed into the room and sat down on the edge of Rose's bed, her back to the intertwined couple. "I fucking hate that bastard! I hate him, I hate him, I really fucking hate him!" Lily shrieked, propping her elbows on her knees and dropping her face into her hands.

"I think she hates him," Rose whispered.

"You think?" Teddy whispered back. They were still joined most intimately, and neither seemed to know what to do. Break apart? Continue on? There really wasn't precedent for a situation such as this.

Then came the tears and a woe-is-me Lily, and Teddy didn't have to wonder anymore. He leaned in to kiss Rose, and her palm connected with his nose as she pushed him off her. "Stop that! Can't you see she needs me?" She shoved Teddy aside paying no attention to his sarcastic, "I have needs too!"

"Come here, Lily darling. There, there." Rose tucked the sheet around herself modestly, leaving Teddy _au naturale_ and scrambling for cover, and wrapped Lily into her arms. "Alistair Merriweather is clearly an idiot. He doesn't know what a catch you are, and if he's too stupid to know what a catch you are… well, the big dumb head doesn't deserve you."

"Alistair was Tuesday," Lily said between snorts and sniffles. "It was Colin Horn this time. I've gone through four men in three point five days. What kind of girl even does that?" She snorted loudly and blew her nose on the sheet—"And 'big dumb head', really?"

"Give me a break. I'm not good at insults. All losers! You're a wonderful, sweet, beautiful and caring girl," Rose consoled, though she'd quite liked that first bloke—whatever his name was—and really, who measured days in points? The first bloke had seemed really charming. "Sweetheart, you just have high standards. None of them are good enough for you."

Lily wiped snot on her sleeve and wailed. "They all dumped me. _I_ don't meet _their_ standards. What the hell is wrong with me, Rosie?" She dug her fingernails into what would have been a blouse if Rose had been wearing clothes. Rose bit back a squeal of pain and made a mental note that she and Lily should make an appointment at the Witch's Talons for a mani/pedi soon. Maybe the blokes had run away because of a clawing.

"Oh, darling, it's not you. It's them. All them. They need glasses and—"

Lily shrieked and pulled away from her in abject horror. "Oh. My. God. You two are having sex."

"Well, we were—" Teddy started, but Rose's look of _finish that sentence and you'll never have sex again_ stopped him short. He gasped to hold in the rest of his words.

"I'm being dumped and you two are in here fucking like rabbits. My God. Get a room!"

"Not to split hairs," Teddy chimed in, willing to risk celibacy for a well-timed witty comment, "but this _is_ Rose's room. You barged in and—"

Lily wailed long and loud. "Teddy hates me, too. All men hate me. Everyone hates me. I'm a failure at life and the only time anyone even talks to me is in hopes of getting in good with my dad and—" The woe is me went on, but Lily was running from the room, so Rose couldn't quite catch it all.

She turned to Teddy. "Well now look what you've done, Mr Bigmouth!"

"Me? I was helping. Besides, now that she's gone we can go back to…" Teddy leaned in for a kiss, swiping his tongue across Rose's lower lip and sliding his hand down her side to clasp her waist.

Rose shoved him away and reached for her clothes, tugging up her knickers and pulling an over-size t-shirt over her head. She gave Teddy a glare and left the room, calling Lily's name as she went. "Lily! Oh, Lily darling, where have you gone?"

Rose really needn't have called. Lily could be easily traced by following the snorts and sniffles. She was sat at the kitchen table with a bottle of Firewhisky in her hand, turning it up every so often to take a good, long swig.

"Oh, Lily, do you really think drinking is the answer?"

Swiping a hand beneath her nose, Lily raised her bottle in toast and took another drink. "I'm beginning to think that drinking is the answer to everything… and sex is the answer to nothing."

Lily's eyes were beginning to glaze over a little. She, Rose knew, wasn't much of a drinker, and it would take very little to get her completely pissed. "I'm swearing off anything with a cock. Men are disgusting, hideous creatures." She looked at Teddy, who'd entered the kitchen, mostly dressed, and raised her glass in toast. "And they smell bad. No offense."

"Well, I'm certainly feeling the love in here." Teddy rubbed a hand through his hair and pulled an arm into his shirt.

"Men are evil fucks who should have their balls cut off at birth."

Teddy gulped visibly, and Rose couldn't help the smile that came across her lips at his obvious discomfort. "I'm pretty sure that's the alcohol talking," she consoled.

"Yeah, but just in case it isn't, I'm thinking I should go."

Lily gave him a menacing glare. "Take your filthy boy bits and leave!"

In his defence (and poorly), Teddy said, "I showered this morning. My boy bits are clean; only my thoughts are dirty. And I'm a man, I really can't help that."

Lily let got of the bottle and it tipped over on the table. She dropped her forehead to rest in the puddle and wailed. "I've decided to become a lesbian," she stated.

"Oh sweetie." Rose patted her shoulder and took a towel to the table, raising Lily's head to get the liquid beneath her. "I don't think that's something you just decide."

Lily wailed louder. "Oh gods, do you have to have a license for something like that? If it's like the driver license for Muggles, I'll never pass the test. Oh, Rosie, I'm going to be your unmarried, sex-less cousin who doesn't have a license to be a lesbian."

With a scratch of his chin, Teddy moved closer to Rose. "Does alcohol usually affect her so quickly?"

"Well," Rose whispered back, "she's usually a light-weight, but I think, maybe, she'd had a few before she got home."

They both jumped back with small squeaks of surprise when Lily whirled from her chair and launched herself toward the kitchen counter, yanking a knife from the butcher block that Rose's mother had got them as a flat-warming gift when they'd first moved in.

"What are you doing with that?" Rose asked, desperately.

Lily started toward the door. "I'm going to find a man who's wronged me and cut off his bollocks."

"Teddy, help me get her and bring her back before she hurts herself." Rose pleaded.

"You didn't really just ask the only person in the room who happens to possess the parts she's aiming for to help you tackle the girl with the knife? Yeah, I'm thinking… um, NO." Teddy waited until Lily dropped the knife, flopped onto the couch in tears, and he beat a hasty exit. "I'll see you tomorrow, Rosie." He looked at Lily and back at Rose. "You know, if Queen Psycho's sobered up and lost her violent tendencies."

"Um, maybe tomorrow, I should spend with her," Rose whispered. "I think she might like a good, old-fashioned girls' night." She gave a woeful glare at the knife. "Besides, I'm not sure you're safe here if she wakes up still feeling this way in the morning."

"Given that these are my absolute favourite parts that are in danger, I'm going to wish you a happy girls' night. Floo me when you're free and we'll finish what we started, yeah?" He leaned in to kiss her deeply, but a violent look from Lily made him change direction, peck Rose on the forehead and squeeze her hand before he left with a whispered, "Love you."

Rose approached Lily, taking the discarded knife and putting it aside and out of reach. "Sweetie, how do you feel about a night without men tomorrow?"

"Are you going to help me get my lesbian license?" Lily sniffled

"I was actually thinking about one of our girls' nights, like we used to have before Teddy came along. You know, complete with ice cream and liquor and the trashing of men."

Lily had gone from violent to weepy in a flash. "You'd do that for me?" she wailed. "Oh, Rosie, you're the best." Lily lunged from the sofa into a hug, flopped onto the floor and managed to drag Rose down with her into a painful heap. "I love you." She let go of Rose and gave her a sceptical look. "Wait. When have we ever done that before?"

"You know, back at Hogwarts."

"You had liquor at Hogwarts?" Lily asked with both admiration and astonishment evident in her voice. That quickly turned to contempt. "You had liquor at Hogwarts and you didn't share???"

"Well, no but—"

"And ice cream? You got ice cream? We never got ice cream at Hogwarts! Not since your ridiculous mum went and got that decree passed about healthy eating. Which, by the way, I hate her for."

Glaring, Rose said, "You're clearly not as drunk as you let on; you're still thinking rationally enough to question and contradict everything I say. Fine! We've never had a girls' night before, but I saw it on a movie I watched once when Teddy took me to the cinema and it seemed like fun. I've been waiting for a good time to suggest one." Rose gave Lily a shove to get her off her. "And really, there's no reason to go ruining every suggestion I have!"

She stomped off to bed leaving Lily lying on the sofa, grinning at the ceiling and anticipating girls' night.

***

_The next night, Girls' Night, at Rose and Lily's Flat…_

Lily yelled out the moment she heard the front door latch. "You remembered the ice cream, right?"

"You Floo called my office four times to make sure I didn't forget. Yes, I got the ice cream."

"And the Firewhisky?" Lily called back, her voice sing-song happy.

"You Floo called another three times for that. And once to remind me to pick up crisps, and twice for nail polish, 'because _Fashion Witch_ says no slumber party is successful if your toes look bad at the end of the night', and I'm still not sure what that has to do with girls' night since we live together and every night's a slumber party."

Lily came out of the bedroom already in her jim-jams, with her hair in curlers. "It's all about the spirit of the thing, Rosie."

"I guess _Fashion Witch_ suggested wearing curlers in your hair, too?"

Lily glared. "No!" Her voice was tiny when she continued her answer so that Rose had to strain to hear it. "That was _Teen Witch Weekly_."

"Are you sure your dad and my mum didn't have an affair at some point? Because I swear you research the hell out of everything. I'm sure you're my mother's offspring."

Lily, who had just picked up the ice cream, dropped it with a thud onto the tabletop. "You just made me have images of our parents having sex. Forget being a lesbian; I'm thinking a vow of celibacy is in my future."

Rose giggled. "Well the image of your dad's skinny arse—Ugh! Too far. Now I need some brain bleach. Where's that bottle of Firewhisky?"

Lily was already pouring. "The next person who mentions old people arse is a rotten egg."

"What?" Rose had no idea what rotten eggs had to do with Uncle Harry's naked bum. Maybe when he tooted it was incredibly stinky or something.

"I don't know really, but Muggle kids say it all the time. Nothing's worse than being a rotten egg. All the books say so. If you're last in a foot race, you're a rotten egg. If you're last in line, you're a rotten egg. There's something, too, about mums and combat boots which is even worse than eggs, I think, but I'm fairly certain that doesn't apply here."

"You went back to the children's section at the Muggle library again, didn't you?" Rose asked.

"Well, it stands to reason, doesn't it? I mean we learned everything we needed to know about growing up from that library."

They both said it at the same time, hands raised in praise, "All hail, Queen Judy." Then both gulped down a drink in toast of the childhood god of growing girls everywhere. Judy Blume.

Lily continued on, "She taught us about our periods, about boys and their hard-ons, and how to be effective voyeurs."

Rose took another gulp. "I'm pretty sure we weren't supposed to take that book as instructive."

"And yet—" Lily grinned and began pulling out her curlers so that her read hair bounced with perfect ringlets.

"I still remember climbing that tree with our omnioculars to get a good view into Scorpius Malfoy's window."

Lily grinned. "Would have worked better if I hadn't wanted to see more, ventured too far out on the branch so that both the branch and my arm broke right in two. Not to mention that poor peacock I landed on."

Rose refilled both of their glasses. "Well, we never took instruction very well. In fairness to Queen Judy, we were supposed to learn our voyeurism techniques with a window across the way, looking out our telescope from the safety of our own room."

"We didn't have a telescope," Lily defended. "And Scorpius lived too far away. Also, I'm pretty sure it was binoculars. Not a telescope."

Rose was on her third glass. "The first of many stumbles on the road to true love." She sighed. "Foiled by lack of good spyware."

Lily sighed too. "I'm only half joking about the becoming a lesbian, you know."

"Liar. You like cock too much to give it up."

Lily moved her head from one side to the other, then flopped down into a kitchen chair, cradling the glass in her hand then bonking it down on the table. "But don't you think it would be easier sometimes?"

Rose wasn't without sympathy for Lily's plight. She'd certainly gone through her share of bad dates to get to Teddy. "Easier, how?"

"Well, I mean even when we find a good man, you know, like Teddy—"

"Leave Teddy out of this," Rose interrupted.

"I'm just saying."

"Just don't. Use another example." Rose grabbed the bottle and her glass and motioned that Lily should follow her into the living room, where Rose sat down on the sofa.

"Go and put on your pyjamas. It's a girls' night rule." Lily motioned that she was already wearing hers, and Rose sighed, knew it was pointless to argue, and headed off towards the bedroom. "I bought you a new pair," Lily called after her.

"Of course you did," Rose said under her breath. Lily did nothing halfway and if any of those books she'd spent the afternoon reading indicated that new jim-jams were part and parcel for girls' night, then Lily, of course, complied. "Oh, seriously? Did you have to get me ones with cupcakes on them? And you know, pink's not my colour."

"You look beautiful in pink," Lily called back. "And there's fucking nothing wrong with cupcakes. They're delicious."

Rose came back into the living room wearing her pink cupcakes, and she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror across the way. Her cheeks were flushed from the alcohol already and her freckles were standing out unflatteringly. She grabbed a band from the nearest table and pulled her frizzy hair into a ponytail. Then she joined Lily on the sofa and picked her drink back up again.

"So don't you wonder sometimes?" Lily asked.

"Wonder what?"

"If girls do it better."

"By _it_ you mean sex, right?"

"No, I mean quidditch," Lily deadpanned. "Of course, I mean sex, you dumb arse. What else?"

"I have a perfectly good sex life," Rose retorted.

"No, you have a perfectly good boyfriend and a sex life that's mediocre at best. You forget we share a wall, and I've heard the orgasms you fake in there."

Rose said, "I do not fake my orgasms!" _Mostly._

The only response was a large snort of derision and an 'I'm Lily, who knows you better than anyone' look. Rose hated that look.

"I don't!" she defended.

"You're not allowed to be defensive during girls' night discussions. It's a rule."

"Queen Judy never had that rule," Rose replied.

"It was an implied rule! If you're not straight with your girls, who are you straight with? Besides you had this night to cheer me up. My rules apply tonight and I say no hiding stuff."

"Teddy's a good boyfriend." Rose couldn't start full honesty without at least defending Teddy's honour.

"No doubt. Teddy's a good person. Did you bring home biscuits?"

"On the table." Rose pointed and Lily ran to the kitchen, then 7back to the sofa and ripped into a package.

"You want some?"

"No." Rose's stomach was doing unpleasant things. In no way had she intended for girls' night to become a 'trash Rosie's boyfriend night'. Teddy was an innocent bystander in Lily's man problems.

"Oy, Rose. None of this is personal against Teddy. Teddy's a man; he does the best he can with the parts he's been given. And, you know, the shortage of brain cells that all boys have."

"I love him," Rose defended meekly.

"As well you should. Teddy's the best. If you weren't fucking him, and I wasn't becoming a semi-lesbian, I'd be doing him myself."

Lily was smiling and Rose followed suit. "You sound ridiculous."

"Which part? My semi-lesbianism? I'm serious about that."

Rose shook her head. "No, the part where you think you'd ever have a chance with Teddy."

"Ooh, ouch. Score one for Rosie in the insults department." She set the biscuits aside. "But really, Rose, haven't you ever wondered? I mean, we've both heard Uncle Charlie talk about his nights with Viktor. He gets piss-hammered and his mouth runs away and he tells us everything we ever wanted to know. Charlie's the king of gay romance. And I think—well, the more I do this dating thing, the more I think, maybe Charlie's got something there. He and Viktor have such a good sex life because they each know what the other wants. There's no guessing what might feel good, you know? They already know."

Rose really hated it when Lily started off the wall and ended by making really good sense. Out of all the good relationships in their families, Charlie and Viktor's was one of the strongest of the bunch. They really did seem to get one another… and give each other what they needed.

Lily wasn't done being sensible… the bitch. "When's the last time Teddy found your g-spot?"

Rose grimaced. If she gave Teddy a map, she still wasn't sure he could locate her g-spot.

Her grimace did not go unnoticed. "Look, Rosie, I'm not saying anything bad about Teddy. I've been with—well, too many men to go counting out without feeling a little whorish, and even the ones that were pretty good in bed, needed a fucking lot of leading around." She paused. "Or leading around while they were fucking. Regardless. Same difference." Lily shook her head to regain her train of thought. "All I'm saying is maybe I'd like to see if girls do it better. At least they wouldn't need a map to find the right parts, you know?"

Maybe it was the alcohol talking, but Rose found herself agreeing. "Well, you have a point."

"I knew you would see reason if you'd only let down your guard a bit. You always were a sensible kind of girl, Rosie." Lily began pulling off her pyjama top. "Do you see yourself as a top or a bottom? Or do girls even have that?"

Rose spit out the drink she'd just taken (Lily could clean that stain out of the carpet). "What the fucking hell are you doing?"

"Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?" Lily asked. "Come on, I thought we were doing this!"

"Doing what?"

"You know, _this_! Come on, Rose, it only makes sense. There's nobody I trust more than you; there's nobody you trust more than me. Agreed?"

"Well, yeah."

"Then let's make the most out of this girls' night. You only live once, and I think we should live it all. I want to know what we might be missing and who better to discover that with than each other?"

"So you and me? You want to—well, you know?"

"Come on, Rosie, take off your shirt. It's not like you have to go any farther than you want to. We can stop if it gets to be too much."

"I envy your carefree ways sometimes, Lil."

"That's why you should embrace this night. It's me. You can be yourself with me. We got our first bras together. Hell, Rose, we even got our periods at the same time."

"If this is your idea of sweet talk, I'm starting to understand why you can't keep a man." Rose would have gone on, but one of the sofa pillows hit her in the face. "I guess I asked for that."

"You completely did. Now take off your top. When's the last time you had someone touch your nipples in a way that didn't make you feel like they were trying to tune the wireless with your tits."

"So it's not just Teddy, and the few who came before him, who do that then? It's all men?"

"Oh, my dear little inexperienced Rosie. No. It's not just Teddy. Men think tits are the greatest thing since treacle tart, but they don't have a fucking idea what they're actually supposed to do with them."

"Sometimes I think Teddy's going to twist my nipples right off. You'd think when I squeal, that'd be a clue he's doing it wrong, but he seems to think that means I want to play rough. But when I want to play rough, he never seems to read that correctly either."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Men." She said the word with disgust, and rubbed her fingers over her own bare nipples, giving them a tweak that made Rose shiver with anticipation. "Come over here. Let's play, Rose. Nobody else ever has to know. Aren't you curious?"

She wanted to. She really did. Rose hated the inner voice that was holding her back. "Maybe you should start." She moved close to Lily and took off her shirt. "I'll follow your lead."

"That's a good Rosie. Queen Judy would be so proud of you; look at you being adventurous and all."

Lily ran a tentative thumb over Rose's nipple, and Rose saw her smile when Rose gasped in response. It felt nice. The touch was so gentle and feather-light with just enough pressure to make her nipple wake up and take notice, but not enough to over-stimulate.

"Is Teddy a good kisser?" Lily asked.

Rose snorted before she could stop herself. The alcohol had done its job to cast aside her inhibitions. It was rather freeing, and she decided to give herself over completely to what this night might bring. "Why do boys think we immediately want them to shove their tongues down our throats? Where's the romance?"

"Preaching to the choir, sister!"

Rose shook her head, trying to shake off a bit of the alcoholic haze. "You've been watching those things you called chick flicks again, haven't you?"

"How can you tell?" Lily demanded.

"Queen Judy doesn't say 'preaching to the choir' and I can't imagine where else you got that."

"Duly noted… and fair enough." Lily tilted Rose's face up, her finger lightly touching Rose's chin. She brushed her lips softly across Rose's. "Do you wish he kissed you more like that?"

"It's such a nice starter, you know? A sweet kiss like that. It gives me goosebumps and makes me wonder what's coming next. Also, it doesn't choke me."

Lily nodded. "And then it would be nice if they stroked your hair, you know?" She ran her hand through Rose's pulled-back curls. Rose arched her back, and Lily ran a finger lightly over each nipple.

"You should teach a class on this." Rose gasped the words.

"Men think they already know everything. None of them would listen. It's like Romeo came to them in a dream when they were thirteen and taught them everything they needed to know about romancing women." Lily became more adventurous and took one of Rose's nipples between her fingers, flicked her tongue over it, and rolled it deftly into a point.

"Romeo should have his teaching license revoked; Juliet should be the one they're listening to, you know? I don't think Romeo knows what we like."

"Clearly. You know, if boys were required to read about Margaret and Tony or anyone else in Queen Judy's books, they'd have a better understanding. I mean Queen Judy should be required reading for every male as they approach puberty. She'd be a much better teacher than Romeo."

Rose snorted. This alcohol was good stuff. "We've seen Romeo's work. Big Bird would be a better teacher!"

Lily gasped. "I'm pretty sure Big Bird's not allowed to teach that kind of stuff. The mayor of Sesame Street probably frowns upon sex education."

"Does Sesame Street have a mayor? I never met him." Rose looked at her glass. "I think I've had enough of this. If I don't stop, we'll start comparing the penis sizes of Bert and Ernie."

"Bert's is totally bigger. Have you seen his unibrow? Only a man with real confidence in his boy parts can pull off a unibrow."

"I'm more disturbed than ever that we've both spent time in our lives contemplating this." Rose looked at Lily. "Maybe you should stop drinking, too, and we should go back to kissing. That was nice."

"Maybe," Lily agreed. "But one of the biggest faults of men is that they don't like to talk during sex. I mean, you know, other than 'yeah, baby' and 'right there' and 'feel how fucking big it is'—which for the record, it never is. I never date men with Bert's self-confidence." Lily sighed with deep regret. "And if he had a detachable tongue, he'd probably be an excellent kisser."

"Bert is one of a kind," Rose agreed. "Unfortunately, you're stuck here with me. But, for the record, I'm a decent kisser. No competition for Bert, of course, but I'll do my best. Look, my tongue is at least nice and wiggly." She stuck it out as proof.

Rose caressed Lily's recently curled hair and slipped a hand behind her neck, pulling her in for a kiss. She nipped Lily's bottom lip and brushed her mouth across Lily's tenderly.

"I think you're even better than Bert."

"Lily Potter, that's the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me." They both giggled, but their next kiss wasn't tentative. The tension was gone from the room and the kiss was filled with passion and tongues.

"I don't think I'd mind so much tongue if boys did it like that, Rosie."

Rose pushed Lily down onto the couch and straddled her waist. "I hate you for your rock hard tits. They're so perfect and perky." Rose caressed one then the other.

"We always want what we don't have, eh?" Lily put a hand under Rose's heavy breasts and lifted, filling her palms with their weight. "I've wished to have your tits since we got our first bras and yours was twice as big as mine."

"Why do boys always want us to get naked?" Rose asked.

"You mean other than the obvious answer?"

Rose shook her head. "No, that's not what I mean. I mean, why do they just want us to rip off our clothes? Why can't they undress us all seductive like? You know, like they do in romance novels. When's the last time you read Mr Tall Dark and Handsome say, 'Okay, take off your clothes so I can fuck you.'? It's just not at all romantic."

Lily nodded. "That's a good point. Big Bird should add that to his lessons. Or did we decide that Romeo was going to be the teacher?"

Shaking her head, Rose said, "No, we decided Romeo's done enough damage to the male gender."

"Oh yeah, I forgot." Lily took Rose's hand in hers, intertwining their fingers.

"Holding hands is so nice," Rose said with a sigh. "It's just so intimate."

"It is," Lily agreed. "I can't remember the last time a man laced his fingers with mine during sex."

"Even Good Boyfriend Teddy doesn't do that." Rose kissed the back of Lily's hand. "And really, that's not a hard thing to do at all."

"It's not," Lily said indignantly. "And you deserve a man who holds your hand when he fucks you, Rose!"

Rose nodded. "Should we be making a list for him?"

"Probably, but I don't want to go find a quill. The room will go all tilty."

Rose agreed. "Me either. I'll just have to remember these things for him." She took their joined hands and rubbed them down her side, down her front and gasped when Lily's knuckled brushed across her pussy.

"Rose, when's the last time Teddy fingered you the right way?"

"Is there a wrong way?" Rose asked seriously.

"Of course there's a wrong way. Why do men think we require penetration to orgasm? Is a clit really that hard to locate?"

"Oh, _that_ wrong way. Jeez, Teddy couldn't find my clit if I put his finger on it myself. Which I have. And he never seems to get that I want it to stay there. For a reason. I get him to the right spot and he leaves. I think it has something to do with men never wanting to ask for directions when they're lost."

"Maybe," Lily agreed. "I don't need a map. Do you think we should—you know?"

Rose nodded. "Seems a shame to have a girls' night that doesn't have an orgasm in it, doesn't it?"

Lily agreed. "Should we move to the bed?"

Rose grimaced and squirmed. "That seems—I don't know—pretty serious, doesn't it?"

"I don't think so. It's girls' night; we're entitled to our comforts, and I like soft sheets and your room always smells nice."

"It's the lavender candles. They do smell lovely. I guess it would be okay." Rose climbed off Lily and walked to her room with Lily close behind, and only a small amount of weaving from the alcohol.

"So, do we undress first?"

"Yes, I think so. You're not exactly Mr Tall Dark and Handsome from the romance novels, so I think we should do it ourselves."

They undressed a little awkwardly and climbed into Rose's bed, each crawling beneath the covers and pulling the duvet up around them. "This feels awkward now," Rose said.

"A little. Maybe we should kiss again. That was really nice before."

Lily kissed Rose before getting an answer, and Rose found that it was easy to lose herself in the softness of Lily's skin and the tenderness of her kiss. When Lily slid her hand down the curve of Rose's hip, caressing her thigh and sliding her fingers between Rose's legs, Rose allowed her access with little thought. Rose followed suit and when she touched Lily's sex, it was wet and eager for release. Lily moaned into Rose's mouth, and Rose pressed a finger against Lily's clit.

She rubbed with slow, tight circles, pressing down hard on Lily's eager nub, her fingers sliding easily against the slick warmth of Lily's pussy. "So good," Lily moaned. She came against the ministrations of Rose's fingers on her clit, and Rose followed her quickly into orgasm.

They both finished with deep sighs and ragged breaths. "That was—" Lily started.

"Yeah, it was," Rose agreed.

"Do you mind if I sleep in here tonight?" Lily asked.

"No, you should stay. Teddy never cuddles with me right either."

"I'm an excellent cuddler," Lily said.

***

_Dear Diary,_

_Sometimes both resolutions and realisations come out of things we never would have imagined until they happen. Me, I've decided to live my life the way life should be lived—to the fullest. We only do this living thing once, right?_

_I'm still Teddy's girlfriend. And I feel a little weird about that. Like maybe I'm cheating on him by continuing to have these "girls' nights' with Lily._

_I suppose I should feel guilty. I don't. All I feel is anticipation and eagerness for the next encounter. I can't imagine giving up men completely, and Teddy's really a wonderful person, and a good boyfriend._

_Maybe I'll tell him…_

_Then again, maybe I won't._

_Rosie_

 

** Additional author's note: The All Hail Queen Judy comes from a particular Big Bang Theory episode I was watching with the "All Hail Sam Cass" that the boys sort of do spontaneously together during episode 5:17


End file.
